The Stink of Burning Mattress


Camera phone picture showing firemen in front of the author's house

To the fellows pictured above who put the fire out before it reached my apartment: I extend my thanks and regret regulations required you to turn down the chilled Oatmeal Stout I offered you.

To my downstairs neighbor: please acquire an ashtray—they’re inexpensive, or you could use a soda can in a pinch.

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