Comments on New York City Subway Advertising

by Emily LAWTON

Cingular Wireless:

Your current campaign suggests various thrifty things I might do; traveling to JFK to rent a car, getting a haircut at the beauty school, taking cole slaw home in a bag, etc. Thus I ought to be willing to get your Rollover Minutes plan.

Interesting theory, but wait: You claim that I purchase an unlimited MetroCard and the “ride the 1 train from 68th to 72nd”? Here’s where you’re wrong, my friends. The 1 (also 9) stops at 66th, not 68th. I’m not familiar enough to know if there is an entrance to this station at 68th, but regardless the station names, not the entrance points, are generally referenced. Perhaps you will say that the difference of two blocks is negligible. But is that not your point? You could’ve made the same analogy using the 1 train from 14th to 18th. That is actually four blocks, at two actual stations. Or is there some Upper West Side appeal you’re going for? Wise up, Cingular Wireless! The Upper West Side is not hip.

Secondly, your theory that I save money by choosing “outside” fruit instead of “inside” fruit makes no sense to me. I have purchased many pieces of fruit in my time, at many different venues, yet this question has never been posed. Please advise.

Verizon Superpages:

Your mascot, a talking telephone book, is perhaps the least appealing thing ever to be anthropomorphized for advertising purposes. Why didn’t you give it big eyes, and a pleasant demeanor? Instead, some attempt at an in-your-face attitude, it comes off like smarmy guy on the make. “If this train were any more crowded, I’d be standing in your pants,” it says. You’d be what? No, you wouldn’t.

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