Just Ask James: Ruthenium

What’s great about James Spillane is that if you have a question about how to drunkenly punch someone in the face, start a huge bar fight, have the cops come, then make it look like the person that you punched is at fault because you are mentally handicapped, he knows the answer.


What is the atomic weight of Ruthenium, and how can it help me get chicks?


Dear Zach,

Just tell her that sometimes you feel like Ruthenium and that you have been attacked by halogens, hydroxides and are ready to oxidize yourself explosively.


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