Tom Conoboy Knows the Answers # 1


We here at Johnny America HQ have long been fascinated by the British in general and British librarians in particular. If Brits are half as clever as they seem on TV and library science curricula a third as demanding as resident Library Scientist Emily Lawton tells us, Tom Conoboy can be mathematically calculated to be fourth smartest person in all English-speaking countries including Australia, where he would be considered a kind of demi-god. Imagine our delight when he sent us the following offer along with a story submission:

“If you have any queries, let me know. I used to be a librarian so I may be able to answer them.”

Any queries? On any topic? Yes, of course we do. Following is our first set of questions for Tom Conoboy, and his answers.

Q. Why are bicycles for boys and girls different, and wouldn’t it make more sense for the boys’ style to be the one without the dangerous bar between the legs?

Q. What, really, is the worst way to die?


1a. So the little ladies could sit on the bike without having to lift up their crinolines and flash their ankles at suggestible menfolk.

1b. It’s a rite of passage for any boy to come off his saddle at speed and mash his testicles on the crossbar. I can still remember the bruising.

  1. Before you’re ready.
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