Ingredients In Many Brand Name Toothpastes that Could Be Trendy Baby Names

by Nick OSTDICK
 
  1. Sorbitol. Pretty name for a girl, or a boy. Sounds like a planet too, which gives the name a kind of celestial tranquility. Something that would just seem to fit, one of those names that by the sound of it makes any other attempt at a naming useless.
  2. Flavor. Could be an even better nickname, like when somebody is named John but friends and family call him Bill or Red. A power name too, a name that’s meant for ass kicking, a name that’s meant to be used.
  3. Xanthan. The “Jonathan” of the twenty-first century. Notice the X at the beginning. Starting a name with a letter appearing later in the alphabet is a surefire hit. It’s eccentric too, which is always en vogue.
  4. Lauryl Sulfate. The equivalent of Laura Jane or Lorie Beth. This one is something old fashioned and down-home. Reminiscence of good days gone by seems to walk in hand with it.
  5. Titanium Dioxide. T.D. for short, it gives the kid some options as to what he would like to be called: Titanium or Dioxide, both, or the aforementioned acronym.
  6. Fluoride. A name that evokes some kind of Spanish flare, something spicy and hot. Scandalous, in a way. Roll your tongue when you say it. F-L-U-O-R-I-D-E.
  7. Blue # 1. Pretty self-explanatory.
  8. Benzoic Acid. Snappy, with some pep behind it, like Zach or Rod. Good name for presumed troublemaker, a predicted misfit.
  9. Hydrated Silica. The name just flows out of the mouth. Very fluid, and another one that would be a good fit for a boy or girl.
  10. Carbomer 956. Well, maybe this one wouldn’t be so good after all. I’d stick with something simpler like Patricia or Yellow # 5.
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