Life Teaching Anecdotes of an Exalted Wise Man

[One]

STUDENT: Oh Exalted Wise Man?
CHRIS MORGAN: Yes my pupil?
STUDENT: I seek specific wisdom from you.
CHRIS MORGAN: That you do and in the process you have failed in receiving wisdom.
STUDENT: I did? I feel terrible.
CHRIS MORGAN: To wit, you have taught me a lesson in wisdom.
STUDENT: Have I? How?
CHRIS MORGAN: You mastery of the art of stating the obvious has taught me that scholarly merit did not play a part in getting you access to my wisdom.
STUDENT: I see. How can I correct this?
CHRIS MORGAN: Easy, just be as wise as your father’s signature.

[Two]

STUDENT: Oh Exalted Wise Man?
CHRIS MORGAN: Yes my pupil?
STUDENT: Why is it that you don’t emphasize the foundations of right and wrong in your lessons?
CHRIS MORGAN: Because ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ are merely words, words created by people who are desperate in trying to link things that do stuff.
STUDENT: So both killer and victim are technically right and wrong?
CHRIS MORGAN: This is true my pupil.
STUDENT: I suppose I am like those desperate people, I am ashamed Oh Exalted Wise Man.
CHRIS MORGAN [laughs]: This is more common than you think. Allow me to explain.
STUDENT: Please, please do.
CHRIS MORGAN: This is true that a murderer has cause considerable pain to his/her victim as the scientific method has proven.
STUDENT: Of course.
CHRIS MORGAN: But science says little of the victim. Who’s to say that by murdering that person, the murderer has assured such events as a couple enjoying a romantic anniversary dinner, a custodian getting a few extra minutes of a smoke break after cleaning a lunchroom or a happy child who has a toy and/or chocolate bar all to him/herself.
STUDENT: It’s coming to be clearer now.
CHRIS MORGAN: Very good. In time you’ll know that such deaths like that of your little brother’s, are never in vain.

[Three]

STUDENT: Oh Exalted Wise Man?
CHRIS MORGAN: Yes my pupil?
STUDENT: When is it right to use the word ‘indeed’ in conversation?
CHRIS MORGAN: Indeed.
STUDENT: I fail to see the wisdom.
CHRIS MORGAN: Indeed.
STUDENT: Perhaps I should go.
CHRIS MORGAN: That will not be necessary pupil!
STUDENT: It won’t?
CHRIS MORGAN: No, for you see, when someone asks a frivolous question, or says a frivolous statement, the word ‘indeed’ is used in order for the dumbfounded listener to ponder the speaker’s peculiarities in order to illicit the proper reply that will clear all idiocy.
STUDENT: Indeed?
CHRIS MORGAN: No, pupil, that is the incorrect usage.
STUDENT: Indeed.
CHRIS MORGAN: Such talk will only serve to teach you the lesson as to why I am the Wise Man and you are the orphan concubine.
STUDENT: Or a concubine orphan.
CHRIS MORGAN: Indeed.

[Four]

STUDENT: Oh Exalted Wise Man?
CHRIS MORGAN: Yes my pupil?
STUDENT: Why do you not return my calls, my many calls that you surely receive?
CHRIS MORGAN: I thought you had a challenge for me.

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