Famous Writers Get Workshopped

by Dan MOREAU
 

“Dear Bill, I was confused by Benjy’s character. I had the feeling that something was wrong with him but couldn’t pin it down. Some background information might have helped. I was often lost in the narrative. Take it easy on the italics.”

“Dear Cormac, a little punctuation goes a long way. Try using commas and quotation marks. I thought your vision was a tad bleak. Can you lighten it up a little?”

“Dear Scott, I thought the character of Gatsby needed to be introduced earlier in the narrative. I don’t quite get a feel for him. For starters, what does he look like? Tom Buchanan’s character needs work.”

“Dear Pappa, I thought the rhythm of your sentences was repetitive and monotonous. Try varying your sentence structure and using periods. Also, I thought your female characters lacked depth.”

“Dear Mark, you have a great ear for dialogue and vernacular. However, I thought you were excessive in your use of the N-word. Furthermore your portrayal of Jim was racist and stereotypical.”

“Dear Herman, I thought the metaphor of the white whale was a bit obvious, don’t you? The book was too long for my tastes. I’d trim it by a few hundred pages if I were you.”

“Dear TS, you lost me at The.”

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