How You Might’ve Found Johnny America #46: March, 2010

Using a deadly combination of custom spyware and server “cookies,” every month the Johnny America Internet Team tracks which search engine queries lead visitors to this web site. Why the search engines send us these world wide web travelers, we do not know.
  • The economy’s rough, but we didn’t realize so many people were hitting the bottle. Twenty-nine searchers found us by seeking “Letter to my liver,” “dear liver,” and other “my poor liver” variations. Take some milk thistle supplement and take it easy.

  • Only four searchers found us while looking for “insect porn,” which is refreshing.

  • One hunter wondered, “how to organize a male bikini.” We’d share the answer if we knew, but sadly we fail to grasp the question.

  • “What happens when you eat flour moths?” one Bing searcher questioned. They taste like regular moths — a little too sour and not enough crunch but, like wet socks, palatable when dipped in tempura batter and flash-fried.

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