There’s Nothing Wrong with Having a Drink of Water, Now and Again

by Matt ROWAN

Here it is, you may think that drinking water isn’t done. You may feel that in the bottom of your heart that water is not to be drunk. I’ve got a news flash for you, buddy-o, other people may feel differently. And they’re allowed to feel differently about water. That’s what makes the America great: freedom of preference as it pertains to water.

People need to tolerate water more. Because really, what harm is water doing? If you are drinking it, it’s doing you little harm, I bet. And if you aren’t drinking it, you’re being close-minded. Close-mindedness is harmful, so be careful. Don’t do it!

And have you ever tried water? Nope, I bet. Well there’s no better time to start than this time right now. Grab a heapin’ cup full by cupping your hands together and filling them with water, all the water — and just go nuts! You may find you love it. Maybe you loved water all along, and now you know it’s the truth! Don’t hide and run from what you love! Embrace it or die trying!

Don’t let fear motivate your decision. You may have a cavalier and bigoted friend who says something to this effect, saying cavalierly, “Why would you drink water when there are delicious drinks to drink? And water is not, never will be, a delicious drink to drink. You are a buffoon.” But you know what? I bet he or she is the real buffoon. Because you know why? I bet he or she will never be happy in life, all because he or she won’t try water and give it a chance to change his or her shortsighted way of drinking. Water can open up doors to a whole new world of liquid for you, if you let it.

No one can ever fault you for drinking water. I know I never will, obviously. Drink all the water you like around me. And in fact, listen to this little fact: I have myself been known to indulge in a cupped hand or two of water every now and again. It’s perfectly natural, and there is nothing anyone can do or say that will convince me otherwise. I do hope the same will be said of you, if not today then tomorrow. Don’t let it go later than tomorrow, because that will be harmful to you.

Don’t believe me? It is an easy thing to do, disbelieving is. But I promise you that you should believe me rather than not believe me. Water and yourself happily drinking water will thank you for it. It is as certain as the trees!

And remember: the only one who can drink water is you! The power to drink water lies in you! You are special enough to drink water; don’t ever think otherwise! Don’t let the naysayers say that you are not up to drinking water, because you are! Follow your dreams like a flowing stream to your dreams, and you will one day drink from the flowing stream of your dreams! The marketplace of ideas starts and ends with the hearty drinking of water.

I love you all so very much! Goodbye!

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